The Lord will send a husband. Why doesn't God send me a good guy future husband? What am I doing wrong?

“Maybe I’m living wrong? Probably very modest. We need to be more actively involved in the search for a husband. Take this matter into your own hands, be more persistent,” some decide.

And indeed, some people succeed. There is a person who seems to be decent and says that he loves her. They get married. And what follows from this?...

Story one

Lyudmila, 28 years old, has set herself a goal: to get married this year. How long can you live alone? Life with her first husband may not have been successful, but 5 years have already passed, the emotional wounds have healed, the child is growing up, he needs a father. Waiting for someone to pay attention to her and want to marry her no longer seems possible. We need to act. She advertised in the newspaper. More than 30 men responded.

After all the meetings with the applicants and the choice, there was only one left, although he was short and thin, and she was a large woman, but nothing, but the man in the house would finally redo all the men’s work.

Whether he remade all the work, history is silent. But after a month she walked around with a bruise. And after a year of nightmare life with him, she decided to secretly sell her one-room “living room” from him and flee to another city. Which is what I did. Otherwise, I could have parted not only with the “hotel”, but also with my life.

Story two

Anna (29 years old) was soon to get an apartment. It was her turn. By law, he and his daughter were supposed to be allocated a two-room apartment. Anna was not satisfied with the number of rooms and she decided to urgently get married, give birth to another child, and then she would have to be given a three-room apartment.

Planned - done. Soon she met a young man, although he was 7 years younger than her, but he seemed to love her, was devoted to her and fulfilled all her wishes. They merried.

And then in her calm, well-functioning life, various adventures began to happen one after another, all of them unpleasant for some reason. It started with the fact that he was attacked, beaten and robbed, both wedding rings disappeared, and he ended up in the police. Anna, despite the fact that she was already pregnant, got another job. She earned money and paid the fine for him and bought new wedding rings. She should think about it here. But she decided: it was an unfortunate accident, and got him a job as a driver. Soon he had an accident, crashed his car and hit someone. Why was he imprisoned? While he was in prison, she gave birth to a daughter and received the coveted 3-room apartment. All this time she supported him both morally and financially. She paid for car repairs and brought him parcels. She herself constantly worked in whatever way she could, despite the fact that she had an infant.

She hoped that after he left, they would live richly and happily. But that did not happen. In the zone, he undermined his health, including his mental health, and became completely inadequate, especially when he drank. He often created scandals and hysterics, beat her, ran after her with a knife for some reason while naked.

Finally, she realized that nothing better could be expected, and her eldest daughter gave her an ultimatum. Anna kicked him out and settled him separately in a “hotel”. But he did not lag behind them, came periodically and caused scandals. I didn't pay for the room. She paid and supported him.

Ultimately, she had to sell her apartment, which she had acquired at such a high price, and move far to the north, using the money to buy an old one-room apartment. Here are just two examples of self-will among many cases when people get married “at any cost.” Well, I left. What next?

Recently, online dating has become fashionable. And that's probably a good thing. But it also happens.

Story three

Marina and Andrey met on the Internet. They corresponded for a whole year, liked each other: they both match each other in intelligence, are interested in the same television programs, books, look at many things in life the same, etc., they have a common love - the computer. When they met, they became even more alike in character. We got married.

And suddenly, everything disappeared somewhere: the desire to communicate, and to be together, and common interests. For some reason the children didn’t start either. Andrei sat more and more silently at the computer; he did not want to talk to his wife again. And the computer was no longer enough for her; she wanted more live communication, attention, understanding, finally. They were moving further and further away from each other. Finally she decided to leave for her city, which she left for him. Her parents, friends, and her more emotionally fulfilling life remained there.

Maybe they should have put 2 computers in different rooms and communicate via the Internet? Then, perhaps, they would still live together, that is, the four of them: he, she and 2 computers? But would it be a family?

Showing tenderness and love over the Internet, it turns out, is not the same as directly in communication. And the responsibility for showing your feelings is different. It’s one thing to write the word “love”, another thing to feel love, another thing to love. It is one thing to write tender words, another thing to feel tenderness for a person, and another thing to be gentle.

So the Internet does not save you from loneliness.

Let's look at the problem from the other side.

Young men, in turn, are also looking for their soul mate, and they also have their own complaints. “Now there are no decent girls, they all think only about themselves, they all only need rich husbands, they all strive to command and do not want to obey their husbands. But Orthodox young men have special claims.”

Story four

Vladimir spent a long time looking closely at the girls who visit the temple. Finally he met Dasha. Well, everyone has a good girl: she’s beautiful, she’s tall, and, most importantly, she’s a believer. But the trouble is, there is one “drawback” - a candidate of sciences. And when I just managed to do it at the age of 26! After a short acquaintance, Vladimir shocked his chosen one with the statement: “When we get married: there will be a lot of children, you won’t work. In the meantime,” he added, “I brought my things here, so wash them.” The veil of love immediately fell from her eyes from such a house-building. And not because she doesn’t want to give birth and she’s not a careerist at all. And he wants children, and would give birth to him, as many as God sent, but he was outraged by such a consumerist attitude towards his future wife. Moreover, with his current income, let alone a large family, he can hardly provide for himself. They broke up.

This is how it turns out that with our pretensions and high aspirations it is really difficult to find a husband or wife. We all know what we want from others, and don’t think about what we ourselves can and should give.

So, what do you need to do to get married?

Maybe you shouldn’t rush and chase the ghost of a husband or wife with virtues imaginary in your spare time, even when you are already approaching 30 or over 30?

There is no need to force things. Maybe while you are running around looking for your husband and breaking into the wrong doors and walking along the wrong paths, at this time the person destined for you by God has long been waiting for you somewhere nearby and you have already passed by many times? Look around.

Or maybe it is that he is not yet ready for marriage, has not matured after another mistake and loss, and he just needs to come to his senses, realize the reason for his mistakes, so as not to repeat them again. Wait a little.

Or maybe he is your betrothed, has not yet arrived in your city and does not even know that he should go there and meet you, and specifically you and no one else? God can see everything: with whom, when and where we should meet in order for it to be good and beneficial for us.

It also happens that you yourself are not ready for family life. Often girls dream of dissolving in a loved one, in an unborn child, forgetting about themselves, about their soul, which belongs to no one but God. Becomes a slave to her loved ones. But such dissolution benefits no one: neither the husband nor the child. After all, it is said: “Do not make yourself an idol,” even from your own family.

It would be good to understand: what am I doing wrong, which is why God does not give me a husband (wife). What character trait, what passion is stopping me?

Of course, it’s very difficult to figure this out on your own. Look for someone who will help you. First of all, these are your parents, whom you never listened to - listen. After all, it is their blessing that decides a lot. Maybe it's your older brother or your friend. Perhaps you should turn to an Orthodox psychologist - you will understand yourself faster. And, of course, to a priest who knows you. Often everything is revealed after confession.

Believe me, if you are ready for family life, then if there were much fewer men (women) around you than there are now, and all of them would be completely unsuitable for you, then you will still be given the one you deserve, and believe me, he will be much better than all those whom you desired and chose for yourself. The Lord never makes mistakes.

And it happens like that. A girl sits in a tiny office, working with papers. And she has nowhere to go, except to the dining room during lunch break. There are also only women working around. Men walk far from her office. I’m already 26 years old, it’s time to get married. But she makes no effort to find a husband. He doesn't even go to discos.

But one fine day, a young man whom she hardly knows, but people only say good things about him, wooed her.

How did he spot her in her closet? God knows! He invited her to marry him. And she agreed.

And so they got married. Although we weren’t friends at all before, we only met for two months from submitting an application to the registry office until registration. That's all.

And they live happily.

(All examples given in the article are from real life. The characters are real, but the names have been changed.)

Nadezhda Fedorovna Parenko,
psychologist, Tyumen

Hello, Father Andrey. The husband and wife are sent by God. How can you understand that a man is the one sent by God, and not a rogue who will ruin your life (there are many of them now)? What is the most important thing to pay attention to when choosing a spouse? What should alert you and become a clear sign that this is not it...

Hello, Father Andrey. The husband and wife are sent by God. How can you understand that a man is the one sent by God, and not a rogue who will ruin your life (there are many of them now)? What is the most important thing to pay attention to when choosing a spouse? Which should alert you and become a clear sign that this is the wrong man. I really look forward to hearing from you.

Elena writes: “Hello, Father Andrey! The husband and wife are sent by God. How can you understand that a man is the one sent by God, and not a rogue who will ruin your life? What is the most important thing to consider when choosing a spouse? What should alert you, be a clear sign that this is the wrong man?”

Archpriest Andrei Tkachev answers:
- Now I will try to tell you a few things that seem to me to be supporting criteria. He must be hardworking. If he doesn’t like to work, then he will be a gigolo who will lie on the sofa, and you will serve him, wash him and feed him. He must be hardworking! He shouldn't put you in bed the first time he meets you. That is, he should not give free rein to his hands and, in general, demand from you in every possible way the only thing that a man needs, who has nothing special or good in his soul. He must take care of you and must wait for the woman herself to open up to the man - to open up to him in confidence - seeing in him not a male, but a friend, protector, husband. That is, he should not be arrogantly lustful. And, of course, he should not be an alcoholic, drug addict or gambling addict! That is, he should not have murderous passions - such as alcoholism, drug addiction and gambling addiction. If he is a player, stay away from him! This is not the same person. If he is a drunk, stay away from him! -You won't cure him. If he is a drug addict, stay away from him! - it will be hell! If he wants to have you as a woman on the first date, stay away from him! - this is nothing! This animal. Well, if he doesn’t work, but wants something... You know, usually lazy people want to put the whole world in their pocket! Their dreamy part of the soul is developed to the point of disgrace. They want everything and do nothing. “What, will I work for these 25 thousand? I am a talented person! Half the world is not enough for me!” Do you understand? If this is such a schmuck, then get away from him too! That is, a hardworking, honest man who respects you as a woman and does not have bad habits. Perhaps this is a person with whom you can build your life. This is the minimum, below which there is nowhere to go. This is my opinion.

Marriage is a very serious step! When we quarrel with our parents, we don’t think that we need to look for new ones. So the husband (wife) should become a loved one. One for life! The main thing is not to make a mistake in choosing.

Many people constantly ask themselves the question “I can’t meet my love and I’m on the verge...” How can I find a wife? When will I meet a guy with whom I will connect my life forever? These questions are often asked by young (and not so young) people. They ask, think, pray...

And the answer is very simple: God will give us a man to marry when He prepares us for marriage! Of course, we can choose for ourselves, make a decision and, without wasting much time getting to know each other, get married, but the further fate of such marriages is unpredictable. Moreover, if problems suddenly arise in family life, we will have no one to blame for this but ourselves.

"Why? - you ask. – Didn’t God promise to take care of us and didn’t he give us freedom of choice? Shouldn’t we trust that He will give us everything we need for life and godliness?” Yes, sure. But the key point is that it is God who must give, and precisely by faith! This means that if we want a person from God, we must trust God to the end. Yes, of course, be sociable, friendly, have friends and communicate with the opposite sex. But in all this, seek God's clear guidance.

It is important for us to believe God! And believe until the bitter end. Keep yourself - and keep it until the end, for that one person who will become the closest and dearest - forever. There is a big difference: being friendly or making eyes at every guy you meet, in the hope that he will pay attention; be attentive or flirt with the first, second, fifth girl!

I can't meet my love. What to do?

So, the most important question for a person who wants to get married is: are you ready to get married? Note: noWant, A ready)… What is the difference? A person who does not have any clear idea of ​​what marriage or family is and what role he (she) will need to fulfill in it can also want to. To be ready means to be able to build a relationship that “never fails”, to have a clear understanding of what marriage is and what responsibilities you will have to bear in it.

The first thing you should pay attention to- Thishow we approach the choice of a wife or husband. If you judge by external data, by how much money a person has, or by how cheerful and interesting a person is in company, believe me, you will be disappointed in your family. Why? Yes, because what is good for friendship and communication may be absolutely useless for family. For a long time, one of my sister’s friends liked bright, charming guys who could speak beautifully and intelligently in public. But bad luck, they just as beautifully and cleverly told her how to love her wife, but at the same time they could easily offend or forget this promise. Until she met a brother who did not know how to speak so beautifully, but who surrounded her with care and attention and thanks to whom she experienced a sincere and loving relationship.

So remember God will work on the image of your future wife (husband) that you create. His task is to teach you to see! So that when you meet a worthy person prepared for you by God, you will be able to recognize him. This is why all other relationships can be unsuccessful. Failure is an experience of how it shouldn't be...

People jump from one extreme to another and get burned in relationships. At school and in college we are taught everything but not how to build a strong family. How girls and guys work. How to love and be loved. They don't teach the person suited you with his qualities and appearance, and what is very important - he helped you grow spiritually. If a person has the same values ​​as you, it means that you will understand each other and can be close. If you have similar views on life and what your future should be, then you will be happy and will be able to walk hand in hand throughout your life. If you both have love, a willingness to give in and a desire to build strong relationships - congratulations, soon there will be one more married couple in the world.

“Stop, stop, stop! - I hear some of you say, - why complicate everything so much? I have a boyfriend, how can I forget him??? we believe that we will have a family" Love is good. But let's look at what love is. Remember what it says in 1 Cor. 13: “Love is patient, kind, and does not seek its own...” Are we ready to love this way?

After all, love is an attitude of giving, not taking. And marriage is not only rights, but also responsibilities.

God has a plan for our lives. He wants the best for us, which is why He will work on our ideas about marriage. Each of us has certain expectations from marriage: “He will serve me coffee in bed”, “She will listen to my every word”, “We will do everything together”, “We will never quarrel like others do”... All this is wonderful, but far from reality. And the greater our expectations or, say, rosy ideas about our future marriage, the greater the disappointment that awaits us. ...

Until we understand that true love is sacrificial, God will not send us “our” person, because we ourselves will ruin everything. Imagine two egoists, each of whom hopes that the other will make him (her) happy, and if this does not happen, then they are disappointed and do not know what to do next with this relationship... Now let's try to understand thatfamily is a place where everyone is called to give . This is the place where we serve the man (woman) we love. And a place where God will sharpen our character and change us. Every time we encounter some difficulty in a relationship with a loved one, it is important for us to show sensitivity, patience and wisdom ourselves, and not demand them from another.

The most important words We read about the relationship between husband and wife in Eph. 5:22-25. It says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her.” So, why should wives obey (in another place it is written “obey”) their husbands, but are not obliged to love? In what things and to what extent should one obey? And why do husbands seem to be deprived of this wonderful privilege of being loved? I hasten to assure you: no, God does not deprive anyone of the right to love and be loved, and does not place anyone at the mercy of another person! But like any scripture, it must be viewed in light of other words in the Bible. And in John 15:12, the words of Christ are addressed to everyone: “...love one another, as I have loved you” (see also 1 John 4:7, Titus 2:4), and in 1 Peter 2:17 we read: “Honor everyone” (see also Phil. 2:3). So what does God want to tell us in Eph. 5:22-25? This scripture reflects not just God's command, but also the basic needs of a man and a woman.

They are different . For a man, the most important thing is respect, obedience (“obedience”), and for a woman – tenderness and care.An important principle: we need to give each other what the other needs. Try to grow in this. And even if you don’t have a husband (wife) yet, learn now to behave towards members of the opposite sex, taking into account their needs.

Since the needs and abilities God has placed in men and women are different, the roles of husband and wife in the family will be different. There are many wonderful books on this topic, be sure to read at least one of them. “So I’m not married yet,” you say, “why should I read books about marriage?” Then why do people study for 4-6 years to become a doctor, lawyer or manager? Because on the day when you are called to a seriously ill patient, or to a courtroom... or you meet as newlyweds after your wedding night in the kitchen, only the knowledge that you acquired before will help you.

“What to do if you need a wife, but God doesn’t give it to you”

Dear brother, remember one more important principle: your wife will not fulfill all your need for significance, and will not always cook deliciously and take care of the house perfectly. Dear Sister: Your husband will not meet all your emotional needs. He can't do this. He will not always understand you, he may be too busy or tired, or even completely free, but still not able to give you everything you need... Because he is just an imperfect person... Neither husband nor wife is called fulfill all our needs, fill all our loneliness. Only the Lord can do this. And in our heart there will always be a place, some emptiness that only He can fill.

This is why the expression “soulmate” is incorrect. As if we can only be something complete, a person, if we connect with our “half”. But the truth is thatwe must find ourselves in God and become an individual even before marriage! Marriage will not meet all our needs. Let us read Genesis 2:24 wisely: “and they shall become one flesh.” Michael Pitts in one of his books gives an example about scrambled eggs. When you want to make scrambled eggs from two eggs, you don’t take rotten eggs of questionable quality and hope that they will turn out to be a tasty meal? You take two fresh, full-fledged eggs, and then what comes out as a result of their unity - scrambled eggs - will be good. It's the same with family.

So that this “one flesh”, that is, the family, is strong and brings joy,Devote the time you are alone to preparing for marriage! Then what you bring into it (your share of scrambled eggs) will be really good and a blessing to the family. Girls, learn to cook and run a house, believe me, this will be very important for your future family. Guys, look for a decent job so that you can provide for your family financially. And everyone needs not to be lazy, but to work on their character, so that love, sacrifice, and the ability to yield become your natural qualities. You can acquire these qualities with God's help as you ask Him for help and strive to grow spiritually.

And of course,the most important thing is to ask God, He gives you a wife and whom He has destined for your life partner. Seek His guidance. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God...” (Phil. 4:6). And He will give you a meeting with exactly the person who will match you in his basic qualities, with whom you will be happy and will be able to live your whole life together. You can recognize this person by 2 factors: firstly, you must have an internal testimony inside that it is him (some call this testimony a revelation from God) and peace in your heart; secondly, your relationship will be successful, you will see the device. And if the second factor may not always be present, then there is no need to get married without the first factor.

The second important point is to communicate. You should have enough friends, including those of the opposite sex. Because these are both communication and relationship building skills, and the opportunity to meet “your” person. Of course, God can give you a chance meeting with a believing sister (brother), say, in a store, but you sharply limit your chances of starting a family if you are not friendly and do not have a social circle.Requestto guys - don’t be afraid to take the initiative if you really like someone. And a big request to girls is to respond, show your interest, because guys don’t know how to read your thoughts. And an appeal to both: if at the moment you are not interested in anyone, still show friendliness to others, still show your best human qualities, this is really very important.

And in conclusion, if you really want a husband (wife) from God, have patience and do not waste your time on trifles. And God will definitely bless you, because He loves you and no less wants us to create a strong and happy family!

Everything about religion and faith - “a prayer for God to send a husband” with a detailed description and photographs.

Saint Catherine, send me a nobleman... Oh, no, this is the 21st century - send me a millionaire husband, a sexually intelligent handsome man! And so that there is love, otherwise how could we live without it?

Jokes aside, have you yourself tried to beg for long-awaited family happiness? How long did you pray? To whom?

Fortunately, there is someone: a prayer for marriage to Nicholas the Wonderworker, a prayer for marriage to Ksenia of Petersburg, a prayer for marriage to Matrona of Moscow, and so on ad infinitum. Orthodox saints don't help? Then you can try the now popular overseas prayers - mantras.

If you add to your prayers a pilgrimage to holy places, chapels and monasteries, the blessing of the elders, as well as notes with cherished desires, shoved between the bricks of the Western Wall in Jerusalem, then God simply has no choice but to send you a husband.

But, alas... If you are reading my article now, then the prayers and monastery elders did not help you, the worn-out Israeli bricks and holy relics did not help. Years go by, but that same man does not meet, the wedding does not take place, and children are not born...

Believers will say that the prayer did not come from the heart, and therefore your cherished desire to find family happiness was not fulfilled. But you know how wrong they are! Even from the heart, with repentance and asceticism!

So what's the deal? Why does someone manage to beg for their husband, or do they think that they have begged, but are deaf to the prayers of others in the heavenly office? By the way, there are not so many “begging” people, they just talk about them more. A wonderful story is passed down from mouth to mouth: she was alone, she prayed, she prayed, and finally she begged. And she is so happy now! My husband is carrying her in his arms, and they can’t wait to have a baby.

Let's figure out why a miracle happens to someone. But first we need to consider the mechanism of wish fulfillment.

Wish fulfillment mechanism

You've probably noticed that some wishes come true automatically. I thought about it, forgot, and suddenly received it. But, as a rule, these are small and not so important things. For example, we thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go to the theater, and our acquaintances accidentally gave us a free ticket to the show. Happened?

But when desires are vitally important to us, the picture is completely different.

For example, a woman dreams of love and a happy marriage. But men are attracted to married or problematic people, but it doesn’t work out with those whom they like and would like. At least crack it!

Why isn't her wish fulfilled?

She wants it! Visualizes her future family life, as advised at the “Happy Wife and Mother” seminars and trainings. She prays and believes that it will be given to her according to her faith, as the priest instructs in church. But nothing happens.

And the whole point is that energy is needed to materialize any desire. And the larger the desire, the more energy is needed to fulfill it.

So what is this energy and where can I get it?

Energy for fulfillment of desires

Remember the wonderful toast from the film “Prisoner of the Caucasus”? Let's drink to ensure that our desires coincide with our capabilities. This is the main component for fulfilling desires - our capabilities. In other words, our energy resources.

Where do we get energy resources from? Have you ever wondered why some people conquer Everest with ease, while others have difficulty getting up from the couch to get to the refrigerator?

I will now give you a good visual example: a computer game. Imagine that you are the main character and you need to save the World. You have some resources at your disposal. If you are in the green zone, where there are a lot of resources, then you are actively moving towards your goal. In the yellow zone, you also have a chance to reach the finish line. But if you are in the red zone, you are exhausted! Your main task is to survive yourself by finding additional resources, and not to save the World.

The same thing happens in life. Everything we have and who we attract into our lives is determined by our energy potential. We receive this potential at the moment of our conception.

Green, yellow, red?

There are two ways to understand your energy potential.

The first method is suitable for those who already have some life experience, usually accumulated by the age of 40. For example, your personal life is not going well. This means that in the area of ​​marriage and children you are in the red zone. You attract money, your career takes off - that means you are in the green zone.

The second method is more universal. It does not depend on life experience and allows you not only to assess the energy potential in areas of life, but also to understand in which direction to move in order to get off the ground.

Of course, I'm talking about the birth chart. After all, a birth chart or horoscope is nothing more than information about the energy potential of our soul, encrypted in the language of planets and stars.

If we now take a woman who has resources in the area of ​​her personal life, then she has a chance to get what she wants. But she needs a push, some additional energy supplement to materialize her desire. She is in the yellow zone, she needs recharge.

Where to get this extra energy?

The easiest way is to ask the egregor. For example, a religious one. For those who do not know what an egregor is, a few simple explanations.

Egregor – mutual aid fund

An egregor is an information and energy field that is created by any group of people united by a common idea. There is a constant exchange of energy between the egregor and each of its members. In one of the previous articles, I wrote that the most valuable resource on planet Earth is psychic energy. Group members feed the egregor with their psychic energies, and in return the egregor fulfills their physical aspirations and requests.

Religious egregors are among the most powerful due to the number of their participants. Holy places, monasteries, candles, prayers for marriage - this is a request to receive a portion of energy from a common cauldron for your desires.

If your karmic baggage is not so great, you have some resources (green and yellow zones), then your wish will come true: miraculous recoveries, unexpected pregnancies and begged husbands are here.

But if the soul is old, many mistakes have accumulated in past incarnations, then the egregor will never fulfill your desire. He needs to spend too much energy on your desire. Prayers for marriage, repentance, fasting, holy places, expectations and worship - do not work!

You are in the red zone!

There are 2 paths before you.

The first way: continue to waste the last crumbs of energy on many years of begging, empty visualizations and magical rituals. Suddenly, someone, a healer, a psychic or a church, will feed you energy for a while, and you will receive what you ask for. But the result will not please you.

Have you asked or prayed for a child? Get a disabled child! Why? Yes, because another child, with your energy imbalances, simply cannot be born. You bent the Universe with your desire!

The second way. It is long and difficult, but also the most faithful. It is not repeating a super sacred prayer or mantra a hundred or a thousand times. This is real internal work to change yourself and restore your energy balance. It is especially difficult at the initial stage. Your suffering seems endless against the background of seemingly prosperous acquaintances and friends.

But believe me, the result is worth it!

One sunny morning, the one whom you have been trying to beg for so long will knock on your door.

Here's a selyavi. The choice is yours which way to go!

By the way, don’t think that I am against prayers. I am for! Only “Lord, don’t let it, go do it...”, and “Lord, enlighten and teach...”.

I love you, no matter what path you choose in your life!

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Prayer for meeting your soulmate helps people who are tired of frivolous relationships find true love. The reason for the lack of mutual sincere feelings may be that a person cannot understand either himself or the one who is nearby. Prayer for a meeting with your loved one will help you not only bring this event closer, but also understand yourself.

Without true love, the life of even the most avid bachelor can become meaningless. Many people are looking for a soul mate for a long time, and when they find it, everything begins to fall apart. People often get tired of loneliness. It is at such moments that they are ready to do anything just to return their loved one or meet their soulmate. They can resort to petitions, conspiracies, love spells and even magic.

Appeal to the Lord to meet a loved one

Asking for Heaven's help to meet your soulmate is one of the most powerful ways to influence human destiny. Unlike love spells and conspiracies that zombify, deprive a person of will and interfere with adequate behavior, prayers do not have any bad influence.

There will be no sin in reading this petition. By doing this you are not forcibly tying anyone to you. By asking for a quick meeting with your loved one, you influence only your own destiny, but not the destiny of another person.

Conditions that you must fulfill before reading the petition:

• Refuse to use petitions to the saints and the Lord if there is the slightest doubt that Heaven will help what you want come true.
• Your readiness for a serious relationship. Sometimes there is no need to rush time.
• Thank the Almighty for what is already in your life and for what He hears you.

For the Lord to send love:

“Oh, All-Good Lord, I know that my great happiness depends on the fact that I love You with all my soul and with all my heart, and that I fulfill Your holy will in everything. Rule Yourself, O my God, over my soul and fill my heart: I want to please You Alone, for You are the Creator and my God. Save me from pride and self-love: let reason, modesty and chastity adorn me. Idleness is disgusting to You and gives rise to vices, give me the desire to work hard and bless my labors. Since Your Law commands people to live in an honest marriage, then lead me, Holy Father, to this title, sanctified by You, not to please my lust, but to fulfill Your destiny, for You Yourself said: it is not good for man to be alone and, having created He gave him a wife to help him, blessed them to grow, multiply and populate the earth. Hear my humble prayer from the depths of a girl’s heart sent to You; give me an honest and pious spouse, so that in love and harmony with him we glorify You, the merciful God: the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen".

Prayer words for a meeting with a man must come from a pure heart. If you sincerely believe that everything will work out, then God's grace will definitely befall you! You will find mutual love and create a strong family. After all, only mutual understanding, respect and support will help a person achieve peace.

Do not forget also that it is necessary to turn to the Lord not only with petitions, but also with thanks. And remember that when you find a loved one, do not forget about God.

All in your hands!

And in this video you will learn a prayer for love to Peter and Fevronia:

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6 thoughts on “Prayer for a quick meeting of your soulmate, your loved one”

I read the prayer - “Oh, All-Merciful Lord, I know that...” 5 times and met 5 guys we didn’t like. And when they did, it was as if they took something in return, that is, average troubles happened. It seems that the words are good without harm, but why is it fulfilled and taken in return? Also, I don’t like the guys sent, but I want to love and be loved. And yet, I don’t understand why this happens.

Hello, Lena! Maybe they didn't fulfill the conditions? For example, hurry up. For now, develop love for everything that exists, try to be filled with love and gratitude, regardless of the presence of a dear person. I looked at this page because I also dream of a dear friend. But I have doubts, as indicated in condition No. 1, am I ready and am I worthy? That's why I don't dare ask for help. This is a last resort.

Girls, I’m also lonely, I sincerely wish everyone to find their beloved, dear one, may God help us all

A very beautiful prayer. I believe that she will help us, girls. The main thing is to believe...

I read 10 times about the all-good Lord and nothing has not been fulfilled, why please tell me

This is not a spell, but a prayer. People have been reading for years, so believe me, God help us!

Prayer to the Lord God for my husband

Bless his work, may it bring him success and financial prosperity.

Let him get satisfaction while doing his job!

Let people respect and appreciate him!

Open his heart, Lord, so that everything he does coincides with Your Divine plan.

Give him optimism, Lord, give him energy and strength, so that he can work in joy for the benefit of himself and the whole of society.

Help him enjoy his successes and appreciate what he has achieved.

May his every step and breath be directed towards You, Lord!

Bless him on his journey!

Help him gain confidence and open the doors of the future for him!

Protect him, Lord, from all enemies and ill-wishers!

Protect from any illness!

Help him grow and improve!

I pray, Lord, that I can be a worthy companion to my husband!

So that I can support, delight and inspire him to new achievements!

May our union be strong and pleasing to You!

I thank you, Lord, for everything that you give us and I surrender to your holy will!

Prayer to Nicholas the Wonderworker to help you find a good husband

If you want to find a good husband, right now turn to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker for prayerful help.

Everywhere you look, there are only married men or those who cannot be called good.

Either they drink, or they beat, or they go out for a walk.

But it’s not all bad, my dears.

To help yourself find a good husband, it is enough to at least sometimes read a prayer to Nicholas the Pleasant.

The more diligently you pray, the faster the Lord will send you a good chosen one.

Before you begin your heartfelt prayer, visit an Orthodox Church and place 3 candles at the image of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker.

Looking at the burning flames of church candles, silently say these prayer lines:

Saint Nicholas, Wonderworker and Healer. Send me a spiritual, bright, and not sinful meeting. Thy will be done. Amen.

Cross yourself diligently and leave the Temple.

You buy 12 more candles and an image of St. Nicholas the Pleasant for your home.

Light candles in a cozy home environment. Place an Orthodox icon nearby.

Mentally imagine a legal, not common-law, husband who is leading you down the aisle.

Let him not be very beautiful, because the main thing is the beauty of the soul, and not the charms of the mortal body.

You begin to pray fervently, slowly reading these Orthodox lines.

Wonderworker Nicholas, Defender and Savior. Help me find a good husband - someone who doesn’t drink, doesn’t hit, doesn’t go out and doesn’t sit. Let him not be very handsome, but sweet to the heart, reliable and hard-working, loving children. Thy will be done. Amen.

Read this prayer when you feel that your personal life is not getting better.

There will be no immediate result. Fortunately, you need to beg.

And when the Lord God pleases, you will meet on your way a real man who will become your faithful spouse for many years.

Families who ask the Lord for a child and cannot conceive for a long time are gradually filled with disappointment and bitterness; the question “Why does not the Lord give children to a woman?” is increasingly heard. How to accept and understand God's providence? Is it possible to find the strength after constant failures to trust Him further? Is there a way out of this situation?

Possible reasons

Why doesn't the Lord give a child to a woman? No one knows the answer for sure, and there is no single correct answer to this complex, dreary question. Everything is in the hands of the Lord and His Will is not ours, therefore all the answers are hidden from Him, but a person should not always search for them furiously.

What to do if God does not give children?

What are the possible causes of infertility in a woman? Without taking into account medical indications, you can make a small list:

1. As a test of faith and patience, some families could not come to terms with the absence of children for a long time, but just when their souls were filled with complete humility before the Lord and acceptance of His will, He sent them a baby.
2. For churching, some women who are diagnosed with infertility seek solutions in the church, thereby saving their and their husband’s souls. There is a lot of evidence of how people who joined the church and became true Orthodox soon became parents.
3. The consequence of abortion - murder (and this is precisely what abortion is) is strictly punished by the Lord and often women are those who have committed the orders of infertility. Children must be accepted when the Lord sends them, and not when a person decides;
4. The consequence of the sinful youth of parents is promiscuity, adultery, and some types of contraception have a detrimental effect on a woman’s reproductive abilities. Such people should first of all repent before the Lord and only then pray to Him for mercy and offspring.

Each case is individual, in any case, a woman (and her husband necessarily) should think about why the Lord does not send them offspring.

Perhaps you need to repent of something, maybe you need to confess a secret sin, or perhaps you need to do your part - get examined by a doctor and solve problems, if any.

The ways of the Lord are mysterious, and sometimes He does not give children of His own, so that the family can serve someone’s abandoned child and adopt him. And for some, the Lord does not allow them to have children because of selfishness and selfishness.

Everyone must find their own answer.

The Church and modern methods of combating infertility

Modern technologies allow even women who could not get pregnant for many years to finally become a mother. What does the Church say about the use of these methods?

To begin with, it should be clarified that all medications that help restore the reproductive function of the body are allowed and welcomed by the Church as a safe way to improve health and fulfill the human part. Therefore, the following methods are allowed:

• medical examinations;
• use of hormonal drugs;
• tracking menstrual cycles;
• use of appropriate medications.

But the following were prohibited by the Council of Bishops in 2000:

• in vitro fertilization;
• surrogacy.

Why is IVF prohibited? Because this is a gross invasion of the mystery of conception and the accompanying murder of children. The decision of the Council prohibited the use of all varieties of this procedure by Orthodox believers.

Eco is performed as follows: superovulation is stimulated, which makes it possible to obtain a large number of eggs, the best ones are selected from them and fertilized with the husband’s seed. The fertilized cells are then placed in a special incubator where they mature so that they can be partly transplanted into the uterus and partly frozen.

Important! There is no guarantee that a miscarriage will not occur, but embryos are always destroyed or killed during the procedure. Therefore, the Church strictly prohibits these procedures.

Answers from priests

Many priests agree on one opinion - that it is necessary to accept God’s providence with humility.

For example, Elder Paisius the Svyatogorets said that God sometimes deliberately delays in order to further fulfill His plan for saving people. This can be seen in many stories in the Bible - Abraham and Sarah, Joachim and Elizabeth, St. Anna, Elizabeth and Zechariah. The birth of children depends on God first of all, but also on man. And it is necessary to do everything possible so that God gives the child, but if He hesitates, there is a reason for this and we must accept it.

We must pray and not lose heart! Hegumen Luka expresses a kind of revolutionary idea that in the case of a childless union it is not necessary to do anything. The main thing in our life is finding salvation and only then the joys of marriage and motherhood. So some are predestined by God to be single, so some are predestined to serve the Lord and not have children.

Archpriest Pavel Gumerov advises infertile couples not to despair, but to wait patiently. He advises to undergo a medical examination, solve all problems in human ways, simultaneously praying to the righteous Joachim and Anna, Peter and Fevronia, as well as making pilgrimage trips to holy places. He says being away from children for long periods of time tests their feelings.

Priest Valery Dukhanin advises not to strive to comprehend all the secrets of Divine care for people. Children are God's gift, given according to His will and Providence. It is necessary to accept them with humility. He gives some examples that show that sometimes God closes a woman’s womb for the benefit of the spouses and one must be able to accept this benefit.

What to do if you can’t give birth to a child? About the talent of childlessness

Mar 25, 2018 16:27Administrator

molitva-info.ru

There is no will of God for our loneliness - the priest’s answer to a site reader

Hello, Elena.

How to stop wanting a family and children, you ask, how to come to terms with loneliness?

Priest Sergius Kruglov

I don't think so. It is impossible to come to terms with this, especially since the word “humility” in the Christian sense does not at all mean “give up on everything and surrender to the enemy.” Loneliness is one of the faces of our enemy, death, that enemy whom Christ the Lord defeated by His death and Resurrection, in the victory over which we are all called to take part. All of our Christian work is dedicated to the fight against loneliness - coming out of ourselves, from the shell of our “I”, to our neighbor, to God, recognition and unity with them in love. Love is God’s most important commandment to man; by striving for it, man overcomes loneliness.

Your words: “How to accept God’s will for yourself?” I think in this context they are incorrect. It is not God’s will for us to be lonely and suffer, His will is for us to be happy. I say this sincerely, and not at all because the priest’s job, they say, is to “protect” God. God does not need our protection, especially when we explain the misfortune that is happening by His will and blame everything on Him. In the fact that your heart does not accept various Orthodox clichéd answers to painful questions, I see a manifestation of the will of God. After all, the Lord gives each of us the strength and ability of mind, heart and body to fight for our happiness.

Christians must strive for happiness, and not just “please God.” In our idea that with our fasting, prayers, confession, communion, and doing good deeds we must “please God,” there is undoubtedly a sound grain. After all, it’s a joy for a child to please mom and dad. But there is also a bias: firstly, if we consider all this to be an end in itself, and not just a means for something greater.

Secondly, if for us God is not so much a loving and compassionate Father for us, but rather a formidable Master and Boss, then pleasing turns into slavish doing under the lash, that is, completely opposite to what God wants from us.

Why are we unhappy, why do we have to fight for happiness, that is, fulfilling God’s commandment of love and overcoming loneliness - sometimes fighting hard, painfully, until we bleed? Because we were born into a fallen world, full of evil, sin, imperfection and danger. Life is such that it does not spare anyone, it drives over us indifferently and blindly, not paying attention to someone’s screams and moans, the crunching of the bones of the righteous or sinners under the wheel.

The fact that we are still alive, despite a million dangers, can be considered a real miracle, a miracle of the manifestation of God’s care for us.

He went to the cross for us and always puts His hands under the blows of life that befall us. Why and for what purpose all this evil is a meaningless question; what God created has meaning, but evil has no meaning. Another question is relevant - what to do about this evil and how to fight it.

How do you, Elena, fight for your happiness? I, of course, do not give any advice, especially since I only know about your circumstances what you yourself said in the letter; here, the absentee advice that we sometimes easily and willingly give to each other right and left may be “missing the mark,” are simply harmful. The idea that a priest knows the exact answers to all questions is fundamentally wrong. Life, alas, poses many more questions than it answers. But it is also important to ask the right questions. After reading your letter, questions may be:

“I’m used to relying on the “will of God” in everything - it sounds Orthodox, but doesn’t this actually mean, as it often, alas, happens: I want God, the Supreme Authority, to decide for me, to guide me - but without my participation, that I'm afraid to take responsibility for my life?

So I wrote that I am not a blue stocking in a black scarf, I go to companies, but I do not mention those men who were with me in these companies, in general about those that I met in life. Am I really living on some fantastic planet where there are no men at all? Could it be that men did meet, but things “didn’t work out” with them? And if this is really the case, then why didn’t it work out?

Let me remind you once again: I’m not talking specifically about you, Elena, but I’m just giving you food for thought. Many women come to church with questions similar to yours, and the leitmotif of their complaints is approximately the same: I want to have a husband, but the kind of men I meet are not suitable for me, one is childish, another likes to drink, and there is no spiritual intimacy with the third. What to do?

If we put aside tears and complaints, there are two real ways. Or don’t waste your time and stubbornly wait for what you want, the one you see in your dreams. But then you need to soberly tell yourself: I’m ready to wait and endure for years, perhaps my whole life, but I don’t agree to live without true love. God help me!

Or the second way: remember that God commanded to love real, and not imaginary, neighbors, and that the main way to receive love is to start loving yourself. And marry someone who exists, who you actually met in life, even if he is not ideal. And tell myself soberly: I am ready to do everything that a lover does for his beloved, bear him children, be faithful to him, not judge and not reject him from myself for his sins. I’m ready to help him get rid of them, without waiting for feelings to come along with deeds of love. God help me!

Both paths are a cross. Not what you called a “cross” in your letter, but precisely this: we bear the cross following the example of our Teacher and Savior, and He accepted the cross consciously and voluntarily. Unwanted, involuntary torment and suffering, which you just strive to throw off your shoulders, is no longer a cross. And there is no benefit from such torment and suffering.

What will I choose - to continue to sit, huddled in the shell of my unfulfilled desires, to wallow in my grievances and sores, watching in panic as the years pass, as dissatisfaction and despondency develop into severe depression? Or take and take steps within my power? Everyone decides for themselves. Only in the first case, God cannot break through to us through the shell of loneliness, which we ourselves strengthen with our inaction, but in the second, He helps us carry the cross, and life takes on meaning.

Because every cross carried along with Christ, to the extent of one’s faith, ends not in death, but in resurrection. I cannot prove this right now - but I can testify that I have met both those who patiently waited for their love, and those who, in everyday life, day after day, grew it from what was at hand.

Of course, life is full of nuances, and in reality everything can be much more complicated than in my thoughts. In any case, I wish you, Elena, not to despair, and I believe that everything will be fine for you. Easily? No, it’s unlikely that it’s easy. Everything real and vitally important in life is always won. In the struggle with yourself - first of all, with your passions, illusions, phobias, fears, lack of faith. Yes, in the struggle there is a real risk of getting wounded and maimed, but there is also a real chance of winning, because God is for us.

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Priest Mikhail Nemnonov: Marriage is the last corner of heaven on earth

Today everyone is talking about the family crisis. Indeed, where can you now see an idyllic family, as in the 19th century - spouses, parents, godfathers and many, many children, or even a post-war family, where there are fewer children, but two or three, for sure, and the parents live in perfect harmony. According to statistics, today there are twice as many divorces as marriages. Such happy people who love each other two years later indifferently say: “They don’t get along in character...”. Orthodox families are also falling apart. Parents also grieve for their children... We asked priest Mikhail Nemnonov to answer the most pressing questions - many of which were asked to us by readers of the site.

– Where should a proper family life begin? What is the most important rule of family life?

– – The main rule of Christian family life is very simple: “Seek first the Kingdom of God and its righteousness,” says the Lord, “and all other things will be added to you.” The family life of a Christian is the “private” of the “general”; our family responsibilities are part of our Christian duty. Family life is the way we try to get closer to God, it is the path to salvation. Even family problems teach inner spiritual life and do not hinder it, because they are solved only when we try to change ourselves, and not our loved ones.

– Father, is it correct to say that spouses should, first of all, treat family life as a readiness to make a sacrifice on their part?

– I am very careful about calls for sacrifices. Sacrifice is certainly present in the Christian life. Someone even said that in the life of every conscious Christian there are elements of martyrdom. But if we make too many sacrifices in the family, and especially before marriage we set ourselves up to sacrifice, sacrifice, and sacrifice again, this can be harmful for both the other spouse and the family as a whole.

– That is, from the very beginning there should not be an attitude that marriage is martyrdom?

– No, the installation should be different. Marriage is, above all, joy. Someone said that marriage is the last corner of heaven on earth. At least, this is how it should be, and this is exactly what you need to tune in to.

– Father, what do you see as the main problem of the modern family?

– The main problem of a Christian family is probably our selfishness. Because there are terrible cases: people easily look for affairs on the side, having several children and at the same time being churched (!) Christians, and at the same time they talk about Christian love, about spiritual love...

We have become more spoiled than we were before. In my memory, there has never been an ideal life or ideal people. But still, over the past twenty to thirty years we have become more pampered and narcissistic. Today we are less aware of what duty is, and with greater taste and enthusiasm we please ourselves, even as church people. Many people understand church life itself as a way to give themselves pleasure, albeit not rough, not material, but some kind of subtle and spiritual pleasure, but pleasure nonetheless. And we often go to church, attend the sacraments, confess and communicate with confessors not at all in order to become closer to God or to part with sins, but with the goal of pleasing ourselves.

This is what the family suffers from. The main problem is precisely that we see even the closest people through the prism of our selfishness. This, on the one hand, is natural - man is designed this way. Some psychologists claim that a person is “normally” 90% selfish. We all want to be warm, to be well-fed, to be treated well, to be spoken to gently and lovingly. By nature, we are such that we feel our own need for all this more acutely than the needs of other people. But only the Lord calls us to do for others what we wish for ourselves. And we, knowing this, demand from others that they do everything for us, leaving ourselves the role of consumers.

– How do you generally maintain your own opinion, without fear of offending love or showing pride?

– In a healthy family, everyone has their own opinion. There was such a case. A married couple who was on the verge of divorce came to see a psychologist. The psychologist asked the wife: “What do you want from your husband?” She replied: “I want him to be a real man.” Then he asked: “And if your husband’s opinion does not coincide with your opinion, what do you think he should do?” “He must agree with me,” the wife answered without a shadow of a doubt. It is not surprising that this family almost broke up.

In my opinion, there is nothing offensive in the fact that your opinion does not coincide with the opinion of your spouse. The best way out in this case is to give in to each other in turn (if, of course, we are talking about permissible things). But just beware of putting someone else's head on your shoulders - it will only get worse.

– How to overcome irritation?

-What irritates you? The first way is to change your attitude towards the situation. And the second is to behave as if we were not annoyed at all. And in any case, you need to ask God to find a way out. But first you need to understand what and why causes you irritation.

– They often say: everyday life is boring. What does this mean and how should it be overcome in the family?

– – Everyday life “sticks” in different ways. Some can barely make it to their next paycheck, while others don’t know where to go on vacation: Egypt, Cyprus or the Canary Islands. It is clear that such “congestion with everyday life” is overcome in different ways. But in any case, the words of the Savior remain valid that “a person’s life does not depend on the abundance of his possessions” (Luke 12:15). Let me try to explain: a poor person does not become poorer in soul from the difficulties and inconveniences that he experiences in life if his main goal is to become closer to God. Likewise, a rich person does not become worse for his wealth if he considers it as a means for serving God and his neighbor, and not as an end in itself. Therefore, everyday difficulties, whatever they may be, do not prevent us from living a spiritual life, but teach us to love God more than earthly comforts - those that we have or those that we want to have.

– If a person gets tired of pulling the burden of household chores, of which there are more and more, irritation and displeasure appear. There is no joy in the house, just routine. How to deal with this?

– If we are drowning in household chores, there is only one way out - organization. You don’t always like it, it’s not very pleasant. But by spending effort to put things in order in our affairs and in our lives, we gain more than we spend.

Modern life is such that everyone has to learn to be collected. Nowadays, this is an indispensable condition for success in any endeavor, both spiritual and everyday. This is a requirement of life.

For example, we have a small two-room apartment, but now that we have five children, it is more spacious than it was at first. Every thing has become more accessible. And the secret is very simple. We slowly threw out everything unnecessary and thought about what and how to rearrange it to make it more convenient. They bought some things, caring primarily not about the interior, but about functionality. Sometimes we made mistakes in choosing new furniture, sometimes we didn’t. Our funds are small, but it turned out that they are enough to make our life in this apartment easier in everyday terms than it was ten years ago. I’m not saying that we have become very organized, but we have become convinced that a lot can be done along this path.

– What if the husband spends twelve hours at work?

– The husband should still participate in the household. Of course, he can no longer fully control what happens at home. He arrives tired and for the first time after work cannot participate in household chores. Therefore, the wife's responsibility increases. If a wife wants to become a good housewife, she will become one. But the final responsibility still remains with the husband, as the head of the family. You can’t just demand, you also need to put your hand in. Not to his wife, of course, but to household chores.

– What should a wife do if she arrives even later than her husband?

– It doesn’t matter who comes earlier or later. Both participate in household chores, each to the best of their ability. Otherwise, both will have difficulties that they themselves will not be happy about. You can always change things for the better. If you don’t have the energy or time, lower the “bar” lower. But don’t remove it completely, otherwise there will definitely be no clearance.

– Where does the “sawing” of a husband/wife begin, and where does caring for him/her begin? If you don't say some things, they will never be done, because... no time and energy. But if you talk about them, you spoil the mood...

– Caring for one’s neighbor, based on love, and not on incontinence, knows how to find the right path to the goal. “Nawing” means repeating the same thing over and over again. And this is one of the surest ways to turn any person against yourself. Experience shows that husbands and wives who managed to influence their spouses looked for ways to interest and motivate the other half to action, and reward in this case works many times better than punishment.

Repeat to your husband 15 times in a row some ordinary request, for example: “Go to the store” or “Take out the bucket” - and for this time you will become unpleasant to him, even if he does not tell you about it. But pose the question differently, for example: “Let you go to the store, and I’ll clean up the house, and then we’ll go together to...” If your husband is interested in the purpose of your trip and at the same time understands that he won’t be able to dump his part of the work on you, - then, I guarantee, he will do it as quickly as possible.

– How to live with those you don’t love? If after some time a person realizes that he no longer loves his husband (wife), what should he do? Is it better to break up?

– A strong marriage is based on responsibility, on obligations, and not at all on the feeling of love. Someone said that a successful marriage is one that successfully overcomes one crisis after another and becomes stronger and more responsible as a result.

Responsibility helps to overcome difficulties. And feeling is a reward. To wake up in the morning with a feeling of love, you need to earn it, at least from the previous evening.

Why did the wife become unpleasant? This is the key question. We need to understand when and why it became unpleasant. There is no other way. As they say, spiritual warmth can only be returned through the doors through which we released it. Likewise, family relationships can only be restored from the point at which they began to collapse.

Those marriages in which spouses focus only on their feelings are doomed to collapse. The feeling of love, like any feeling, is changeable, and if spouses come together and diverge every time a new feeling visits them, we will have neither a family, nor a state, nor a society, but will be a sum of selfish and at the same time very unhappy individuals, unsuitable for any serious business.

Someone said it well that like everything else that is worth fighting for, marriage requires daily work and fulfillment of the obligations assumed by everyone. Then, over time, the feeling of love will grow.

– Suppose that after some time the beauty that the girl had disappeared.

– Beauty fades with time for everyone. But not all families collapse because of this. If people love each other, external beauty is not so important. And besides, the expression on a woman’s face is more important than its outline.

– What if your wife’s character began to change for the worse?..

– Why did her character deteriorate during her life with such a wonderful husband? Maybe he doesn't have an ideal character either? Then there is a reason to take care of your own “log”, and not about other people’s “straws”.

– But it happens that one spouse becomes unpleasant to the other...

“We need to understand why he became unpleasant.” This depends not only on the wife or husband, but also on the spouse himself who experiences this hostility. And let's not forget that marriage is a commitment that we take upon ourselves. Why don’t we marry people in a so-called civil marriage, that is, those who live together without being married? Because there is no moment of commitment, which exists in a legal marriage. I don't see any other difference. People want to enjoy the pleasant aspects without committing themselves to anything. Such cohabitation does not in any way correspond to the Christian concept of marriage. Marriage is a commitment. It is, of course, based on love. Without love there is no point in getting married. Therefore, before the wedding ceremony, the priest asks: “Do you have a good and spontaneous will and a strong thought to take as your wife such and such, whom you see here before you?” The man answers: “Yes.” And only after this the wedding ceremony itself begins. But by deciding to do this, we take on obligations to another person. Including the obligation to endure his infirmities. So let's remember this.

– Is it true that a wife can drive her husband to drunkenness with her constant criticism and “nawing”? Do some of the spouse’s vices sometimes really come from the eternal dissatisfaction of his half?

– Yes, many men began to drink out of stupidity and dislike of their wives. The Holy Scriptures contain the following lines: “The husband of a wise woman is known at the gates of the city.” The most honorable citizens gathered at the city gates to resolve the most important issues. This was the ancient “city council”. And this is absolutely certain: a wise wife will find a way to help her husband develop his strengths. But if the wife nags her husband, endlessly points out his shortcomings, and he is not strong enough to cope with this, then he will begin to degrade. And then the wife will receive what she herself sowed. The husband will sit in front of the TV, drink beer, and the wife will cry that she has nothing to talk to him about.

– Why does everyone notice “let the woman fear”, but they don’t see about “like Christ the Church”?

– Because here everyone now knows how everyone else is obliged to work. By the way, not everyone notices the words “let the wife fear her husband.” For example, women rarely notice these words, although they are addressed specifically to them and not to men.

I have seen many women who complained about the unkind treatment of their husbands, but they themselves did not show any respect for them either in personal communication or in front of people. But the words husbands, love your wives as your bodies, as Christ is the Church, are addressed to husbands, but they are mainly noticed by wives. Apparently, it is easier to think about how others should act, rather than how one should act.

– About priorities in the family (from the mother’s point of view): who should you run to first – your tired husband after work or your crying child?

– When your husband comes home from work, be ready to greet him.

If the child suddenly starts crying, go to the child first. But if you do not show attention and interest in your husband returning from work, then he will return home without interest.

– Where is the line between how much time is devoted to the husband and the time devoted to the child? For example, a husband wants to structure his day in one way, and this goes against the child’s daily routine.

– Usually people who have lived together for several years and given birth to a child know exactly who needs to sleep when, and what will happen if the schedule is violated on some days. If difficulties arise here, then the point is not in the child, but in the fact that the spouses do not understand each other. It’s hard for me to imagine that my husband would demand to go for a walk if the children absolutely need to sleep at this time. And besides, it is difficult to imagine that such a walk would cause great harm to the child. But if this happens regularly, then you need to convey to your husband your vision of the problem and try to solve it together.

– So the child has priority in this situation?

– No, in this situation the priority should be adequate behavior. It also happens that a wife demands compliance with the regime from her husband, but she herself breaks it whenever she wants - to talk on the phone with her friends or sit in front of the TV. In this case, it would be, at the very least, absurd to quarrel with a husband who wanted to go for a walk with his family. And it would be dishonest to justify this quarrel with concern for the child’s regime.

– What if this is not an isolated case?

– What should a wife do if her husband demands fulfillment of all his whims? If these whims are truly harmful to children, they need to be protected. The husband is an adult, he is responsible for himself. And parents are responsible for their children. And if dad is not capable of this, then mom will be responsible for the children. I have already said that peace in the family is not the highest value, although it is dear. The highest value is our Christian duty. And it also means taking care of your children.

– What should spouses do if one of them suffers from computer addiction and completely goes into virtual reality?

– Usually, before a person leaves for any other reality, the spiritual, emotional connection between spouses is somehow undermined or weakened. It’s hard to imagine that people love each other, truly live in each other’s interests, and suddenly one of them completely goes into virtual reality. I know one family where there is such a problem, I know both spouses personally. My husband, coming home from work, can play computer games for several hours in a row. The same thing happens on weekends. But in this family there is no complete mutual understanding between the spouses on other issues. This incident convinced me that the problem of one of the family members leaving for virtual reality does not arise out of the blue. Maybe outwardly everything is fine in such families, but in reality people usually live with some different interests. And here the computer attracts the weakest. But if there was no deep community even before immersion in the virtual world, then isn’t it better to go back and try to understand why it wasn’t there and where it went?

“But there are cases when even in quite prosperous families the husband sits for hours at the computer.

– If a person spends a lot of time at the computer, this does not mean that he has completely gone into virtual reality. The computer in general causes a slight addiction in almost every person who uses it. And the problem you are talking about occurs in almost every family where one of the members works with a computer. For example, this was the case in my family. I had to work on a computer when I was a deacon and wrote articles for the Radonezh newspaper, as well as my diploma thesis. And I remember well that it was difficult for me to tear myself away from work; I always wanted to place or design something differently. Then, when I became a priest, life turned out in such a way that for two years I did not use a computer at all. And now I work mostly early in the morning, when everyone is asleep, except when I have to do something very urgent. Work is work, sometimes for the sake of it you have to be distracted from household chores. But I think the old attachment to the computer has passed. So I can testify that it is surmountable.

– What if in a family where both spouses are believers, one of them spends a lot of time not at work, but in computer games?

– If it’s about games, you need to repent of such a hobby. And if a person addicted to gaming does not want to do this, it makes sense for someone else to turn to a qualified and, preferably, Orthodox psychologist who is familiar with the problem of “computer addiction.” I think a good specialist in this field will tell you how to help the injured family member, or at least how not to harm him even more.

– Question about marital relations in the post...

– This is a difficult question.

It’s one thing if one of the spouses is an unbeliever or, let’s say, unchurched. Everything is clear here: a person does not know what fasting is. And to demand that he observe marital fasting forcibly means subjecting him (and along with him, oneself) to tests, the consequences of which can be very disastrous. The Apostle writes: “Do not deviate from one another except by agreement” (1 Cor. 7:5). And with an unbelieving spouse, agreement on the issue of observing the marital fast is not easy to achieve.

But there is another side to the question: what if both spouses are believers and churchgoers, if both live a Christian spiritual life, confess and receive communion? And if they are already close to that “unanimity of souls and bodies” for which the Church prays in the Sacrament of Marriage, but one of them wanted to break the marital fast? The fact is that here agreement already exists in advance: both spouses agree that fasting must be observed in all respects. Against this background, the desire of one of them to break the fast looks like a whim, or a temptation. In this case, is it necessary to go after him? Ideally, no. In my opinion, if both spouses are already living a church life, the refusal of one of them to join the marital relationship during Lent will serve the common good, and the other half will subsequently only be grateful for this.

However, in real life, not everything is as simple as we would like. Therefore, there are no universal rules about observing or breaking marital fasts and there cannot be. And if the issue of marital relations during Lent concerns you, discuss it with an experienced confessor whose opinion you trust - I think he will give you good advice on what to do in your particular situation.

– A question asked by our readers about the distribution of family and social responsibilities in the family: “Since I consider myself an independent person, I’m not sure that I can avoid encroaching on my husband’s “area of ​​responsibility.” That is, the line between men’s and women’s duties and responsibilities is not entirely tangible for me.”

– Usually independent people respect independence in others. Recently, one Hollywood actress got married, choosing the date of July 4th - Independence Day. She explained her choice this way: “I’m tired of my independence from men.” So, despite all our independence, we have a need for someone who is higher than us. Not necessarily much smarter, not necessarily stronger in everything, but the first is before us, and we become second after him. For a woman, such a person is her husband. (The attitude of a man towards his wife is based on other principles - there should be no equality in this.) Those women who demand that their husbands do what they, their wives, want, act extremely stupidly. They are robbing themselves. Share your areas of responsibility with your husband and help each other, not forgetting which of you is “first among equals” and who is “second among equals.”

– The question of the need for work for a wife: on the one hand, family is the main thing, on the other hand, there is a danger of being “out of tune,” becoming lazy, ceasing to be interesting to the children, husband, and respected by them.

– And still, family should be more important than work for a woman. If you have an internal need for work and at the same time have time, find a job. But remember that no one can replace a mother in the family - neither a nanny nor a grandmother. So let your work or any other business be subject to the general flow of your family's life.

– Another question from readers, a painful question for many Russian women: how to remain sweet, feminine, weak, if the position of the “weaker sex” in the family is taken by the husband? Many women have to support their family both morally and financially.

– You are the first (and last) who can help your husband take the position of the stronger sex. By the way, not all women sincerely strive to be cute, feminine and weak. Another woman “will stop an elephant in its tracks and tear off its trunk.” And after that she will sigh that she is not allowed to be sweet and feminine.

If the husband took the position of the “weaker sex,” then the woman, or maybe two women, is to blame. One of them is your mother-in-law, and the other is you. Moreover, the wife’s fault is usually greater than the husband’s mother’s fault.

It has been noticed that a man who fails to “defeat” his domineering and stubborn wife degrades. This degradation can take many forms. The softest is indecision, fear of somehow angering Her Majesty the Wife.

Of course he won't make any decisions. After all, if he tries to do this, inevitable trouble awaits him. But he will not implement your decisions as his own. Therefore, sitting in front of the TV with a bottle of beer or with a cat on his lap - no one helped him find himself in something else.

But if you have never tried to get the better of your husband and another woman is to blame - his mother, then help him get out of the “hole” in which he finds himself. Push him to make his own small decision in any matter - albeit not as wise as yours, but still kind. Help him implement this decision: support him in the middle of the journey and reward him when everything is done. And if he turns out to be a capable student, then one day let him go forward to his rightful place.

– What to do in such a situation: the wife clearly sees that she is giving her husband the right advice, but he wants to do things his own way and does not understand that his wife is offering the right way out of the current situation?

– Everyone has the right to learn from their own mistakes. In addition, we are not always as right as we ourselves think. So show respect for your husband even where you think he is wrong. Respectfully tell him that you disagree with him and respect his decision. According to the apostle: “Christ is the head of the Church, and the head of the wife is the husband.”

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Why can God not give a husband? I live alone, I have never had a relationship, there has never been mutual love, just not mutual.