“My husband is seven years younger than me. “My husband is seven years younger than me My husband is seven years younger than my wife

First, there are countries that are basically non-sexual. It's not that Germans or Russians or Swedes don't like sex - of course they do. But the cold, the dullness, all this gloom over a long and difficult winter - all this makes people closed, constrained, more concerned with questions of survival than any of your sex and other sensual pleasures. Therefore, for us, northern Europeans, the life program is more important than sex. Therefore, from Russia to Switzerland, a woman at 35 thinks more about her career, children (whether they are or not), home, a man who will be her reliable partner. And this is the very reason why it is so rare to see “unequal” couples here. A woman needs a comrade-in-arms and a like-minded person, and according to a common cliché, a peer can be considered such rather than someone younger.

Secondly, in Russia until recently, most women saw their lives as a successful marriage. It was their way of survival. In the USSR, gender equality was only on paper, and then millionaires immediately appeared - and the girls rushed at them like mosquitoes, making their dreams come true, as in TV shows and films with Monroe. Therefore, for our space, of course, a relationship with a younger man is a psychological shock. Because such a partner seems to be by default not very reliable and not very protective.

But here, for example, in Italy, couples where the woman is older are commonplace. Can often be seen on the street. And a woman is not a rich woman at all, and a young man is not a toy. These are full-fledged couples with complete reciprocity. Because, despite this whole Catholic system, Italians know how to enjoy life. And sex.

Russia, by the way, is not at all hopeless. Many women who everyone knows date men younger than themselves. Here, the actress Ravshana Kurkova married a man ten years younger than her. I know women whose men are ten years younger. True, I also know women who are three years older than their husband - and they are terribly embarrassed about this (but this is more often when a man provides them). The women I know are women who are confident in their position. And it's not about money. Although money matters. But the question is not that she "can afford" a younger husband, but that she is confident in herself.

There are women in their 40s and 50s who didn't do well in their personal lives because they held onto the stereotype that a man should be stronger. And so they searched. Many are sure that a man with an independent partner will not cope. That they want a bun that cooks bouillabaisse and never raises his voice. “My grandmother taught me that before you make a scandal, you have to wait half an hour,” says one friend. Well, then follows an instruction on how, God forbid, not to harm a man with your moods.

I do not mean that it is useful to roll up ugly scenes. And about the fact that, according to popular opinion, a man is such a fragile and very expensive vase that needs to be protected, not sparing himself. But how to take care if you are a living person who is sewn up at work and who, in addition to the household, has a bunch of important things to do and no less important desires?

Now there is a new generation of self-supporting women who are not so prejudiced. They just date men they like. No fear of age difference. Of course, we all have our own concerns, but one way or another, this does not interfere. In general, about most couples, to be honest, you won’t understand that there is some kind of difference in age. There is also a public censure - they say, a-ha-ha, my husband buys diamonds for breakfast, and this one has a boy, she probably wipes his snot! And they sit so proud of themselves - despite the fact that the husband "from work" comes at three in the morning and he smells of "Chanel Chance" (yeah, apparently, he drank it).

Well, maybe they feel so good - but please don't judge others for living some wonderful life of their own. If girls with billionaire husbands are happy, please. If girls are happy with their lovers younger than them, do not use your fantasy for evil. If people look happy, that's great.

Only in terrible anti-female times was this ridiculous concept - "be young." Like, “boo-ha-ha, a completely old woman flew off the coils - everything is young, she put on a short skirt, smeared herself, a football player comes to her, she is good for her sons.” And even if it does, then what? People like each other, they have hot sex there. What's bad? A woman was taught to be ashamed of her age, which is objectively bad.

My boyfriend is twelve years younger than me, and when everything was just beginning, I suddenly caught all these fears and prejudices. She kept tossing and looking at herself in the mirror - what if I'm old? But you see so many couples where the man is older, while he looks great, and everyone is just proud of him - they say, such a handsome man that you ask yourself: why the hell am I raping my psyche like that? Is there something I don't like about myself? Do I need to justify myself to someone? What do I care what people think? (Or better, am I willing to sacrifice my happiness for a hypothetical public stigma?)

And the answer is NO! I like it, I never make excuses - I don't care, I'm not ready. Yes, we all have complexes, but we are not obliged to live with them. We must not let them influence us. Only joy lies ahead. Still many are visited by a wonderful question: what will happen next? Well, when you are fifty-five, and he is forty. And yes, now it sounds funny. Fifty five? Is this age?! And, secondly, where is the guarantee that you will stay together with a peer? Well, yes, there are these wonderful thoughts that you will not get anywhere - even if you experience mutual disgust, but it sounds hopeless. Life is for moving. Search. Rejoice in new perspectives and the unknown.

Who wants to wallow in tediousness, routine, doom? I'm not sure. Because I want to learn something new at seventy and at eighty, to strive somewhere, and that at eighty I would have new loves, new relationships, and not that painful peace and not that depressive stability that life in fear promises and inertia. When something ends, it means that something begins, and there is no sexier and more refreshing feeling than this anticipation.

The relationship between a man and a woman, who have a significant age difference, has always aroused increased interest in society. However, the reaction to them directly depends on which of the couple is older. If a woman is much younger than her partner, then some curiosity about their relationship has a rather benevolent connotation. On the contrary, couples where a woman is more than a couple of years older than her beloved cause a lot of disapproving gossip and caustic comments. Despite this, the number of such couples in our country is increasing.

Male look

Contrary to the stereotype of the “40-year-old tigress seductress” widespread in society, the initiator of a relationship with an older partner is usually a man. The results of various studies give figures from 85 to 93%. It is not uncommon for a young man to spend months, and sometimes years, courting a woman he likes before she agrees to such an “unequal” union. So what is there in women of “Balzac” age that a man cannot find in his young peers? It is better to learn about it from them.

Eugene, 26 years old:

It is always interesting for me to communicate with Tanya. There are many topics that can be discussed in addition to common hobbies. Somewhere even ask for advice. She listens carefully, and argues her opinion. And even if we do not agree with each other in some way, we can find a compromise. It is much more difficult for me to communicate with peers, to find some common ground. And their reactions are not always clear, and they do not want to explain anything.

Sergey, 24 years old:

The sex is just crazy. Sveta is more relaxed, not ashamed of her desires, and her head does not hurt 7 days a week. I have never had such intimacy with young girls. At the same time, she looks better than some 20-year-olds. And she provides for herself and does not require expensive gifts. I'm not a gigolo, I buy tickets for a concert, I pay for both in a cafe, I make gifts, but this is always my choice. Light does not expect this from me and rejoices at any gift, regardless of the price. The peers took everything for granted, as if I owe them. And if the gift was below a certain amount, then they also made a scandal.

Vladimir, 42 years old:

From the very beginning, Lena was calm. No tantrums out of the blue. If she doesn’t like something, she will say directly, without stupid games in “Guess why I am silent.” Attentive, caring. Heaven and earth compared to my first wife, who was 5 years younger than me. All she needed was money and gifts, and in return, whims, reproaches and "silence" for weeks. Lena and I are not married, but we have been together for 16 years and all this time I have not even thought about other women. Parents, however, could not come to terms for a long time. At any opportunity, they were advised to find a peer. Thank God, the last few years have finally calmed down.

So, men are attracted to older partners for several reasons:

1. They know, . In addition, adult women know how to listen and support a loved one.
2. Many studies have shown that the peak of female sexuality occurs at the age of 30-40, while for men it passes much earlier. An experienced woman not only knows how, but really wants it. So in sexual terms, a woman older than a woman of the same age is much more suitable for a young man.
3. An adult woman has already taken place financially and does not choose a man for herself according to this criterion. It is important for any man to know that he is not an extra wallet for his beloved, but a really close person.
4. For some, a big plus is that an older woman was usually already married, has children and, accordingly, does not seek to “drag” her partner to the registry office as soon as possible.

female look

Oddly enough, it is women who most condemn the relationship of adult ladies with young men. The main reason for this reaction is primarily fear and misunderstanding. How can you meet with a young man, because he is not serious, he will leave anyway, he is not able to take responsibility, and so on and so forth. However, it is better to listen to women who have experience in such relationships.

Tatyana, 34 years old:

I never considered the possibility of any relationship, other than friendship, with men younger than me. It didn't even cross my mind. Before Zhenya, I was married for 11 years, divorced at the initiative of my husband, who met another woman. After this, it’s not easy to start a new relationship, and only when a “boy” 8 years younger begins to look after you ... So Zhenya had to prove the seriousness of her intentions for more than a year. I repeatedly gave him many arguments against, but he did not give up. At some points, he even changed his lifestyle so that we were more comfortable together, and this convinced me. He is serious and ready to take responsibility. Unlike other men who looked after me, even though they were all older than me. Of course, I am afraid that he will meet a girl more suitable for his age. But, in the end, my first husband was the same age, and this did not help save the marriage. Now I have an understanding of what not to do.

Svetlana, 35 years old:

I was very hard going through a divorce from my beloved husband, who found himself a younger woman. I had a terrible depression, it seemed that my life was over. We met Sergey by chance, and when he started courting me, I was literally in shock. Tall, handsome, the guy girls and I turn to? It just didn't fit in my head. I went into this relationship simply so that my cheating husband would not be my last man. Such is the stupid "revenge". Seryozha knew about this and then said: “We will treat you.” And he did heal! I took care of myself, went to the gym. Next to a man like Sergei, I feel much younger. And his attention and the somewhat envious glances of the girls on the street finally convince me that life is just beginning. I do not make far-reaching plans for a life together, I live for today, and I like it.

Elena, 50 years old:

The main problem in our relationship with Volodya was his parents. We met 1.5 years after his divorce from his wife. But the parents really wanted Volodya to make peace with her. Although it was she who broke up with him, and not vice versa. Well, the fact that I am older than Volodya horrified them. They constantly told me about what a "predator" I am, that I took him away from the family and nothing good will happen to us. They tried to turn Volodya against me. All this was very hard. But we managed to survive. In the end, after 10 years of marriage, they reconciled and even began to accept me.

To sum up what gives and what takes away from women relationships with younger men:

1. Some women gain confidence in themselves. Having the opportunity to meet with younger girls, the man chose them. This means that they are not only no worse, but even better in some ways. However, others, on the contrary, torment themselves with thoughts that a man will certainly leave for a more attractive peer.
2. The folk wisdom that “a woman is as old as her man” did not arise from scratch. It has long been noticed that next to a man much older than himself, a woman herself begins to look older than her age. With a young husband, a woman, on the contrary, flourishes. A young companion is an excellent incentive for more thorough care of your appearance and figure.
3. We have already written about the fact that the needs of a woman in the intimate sphere increase by the age of 30–40. A peer is unlikely to be able to fully satisfy her desires, unlike a younger lover.
4. There are infantile young people who are looking for a "mommy" who will take care of them. Some women are satisfied with such relationships, but not all.

If your financial situation is above average, you should pay close attention to the behavior of a young boyfriend in order to don't fall in love with gigolo. There is nothing wrong with a separate account in a cafe. But if a man asks you to pay not only for yourself, but also for him, you should be wary.

Before you start dating a man younger than you, decide for yourself what you expect from this relationship. And then calmly and honestly discuss it with your gentleman. If you recently went through a difficult breakup and are not ready for something serious, but do not mind easy and non-committal relationships, you do not need to give hope to a man who is serious. And, on the contrary, if you need a long-term relationship, do not build castles in the air, but find out if your "boy" is ready for them.

To younger competitors. According to statistics, only 10% of men break up with women older than themselves because of the impossibility of having a child. And not a single man named age as the reason for the gap. Finally, consider perhaps the most famous marriage of a young man to an adult woman in history: Khadija, the first wife of the chief Islamic prophet Muhammad, was 15 years older than her husband. They lived together for 24 years (until her death). Despite the fact that polygamy is allowed in Islam, Khadija was the only wife of the prophet until her death. After her death, Muhammad married several young women. But at the same time, one of them said that her husband was jealous only of the late Khadija, Muhammad always remembered her with such warmth and sadness.

If both of you are serious, you need to prepare for the negative reaction of relatives and friends. According to statistics, this is what becomes the main reason for the separation of such "unequal" couples. Don't let others interfere with your relationship. Decide your own destiny. Think of the example of famous couples who have been together for a long time, despite the difference in age.

Celebrity couples with big age gaps

Goldie Hawn is 6 years older than Russell Crowe, but they've been together for over a quarter of a century. The difference of 9 years between Julianne Moore and Bart Freundlich did not prevent them from being together for almost 20 years. One of the sex symbols of Hollywood, Hugh Jackman, has been living with Deborra-Lee Furness, who is 13 years older than him, for almost 20 years. At the same time, in each interview, he emphasizes that he is crazy about his wife. For almost 30 years, Tina Turner has been living with her young husband Erwin Bach - the difference between them is 17 years. Among domestic stars, one can recall Larisa Dolina and Ilya Spitsyn - they have been together for more than 15 years, although Larisa is 12 years older than her husband. And, of course, Alla Pugacheva, who has been living with Maxim Galkin for almost 15 years, despite the colossal difference of 27 years.

He is 7 years younger

Your request is very concise, but nevertheless you raised several important points in it. The question of your boundaries, the question of growing up (psychological) and the question of separation from parents, the question of your attitudes.

You have no doubt that you love a young man - and this is wonderful, it means that you can listen to yourself and be aware of your feelings. It's worth a lot.
And it seems that everything would be fine if you learned to define and protect the boundaries beyond which you could keep other people out. Families where there is an attitude that everyone should come to some kind of consensus and that there is someone who knows "how it should be" are codependent. You (so far) are very dependent on the opinions of your relatives.

Now you seem to doubt whether it is better to listen to yourself or to believe your parents. Of course, only you can decide this. But you need to understand that acting on the basis of the motives of other people, you live not your life, but theirs. They have some reason not to trust this young man, maybe they just don't like him. And you have something to do with it, I want to ask? Whose problems are these - their feelings for your loved one? Yours or theirs?

Many people live with the understanding that there is some kind of problem. Many of these many make a decision every day (perhaps unconsciously) to live with a problem, because solving it means creating an even more difficult problem at times. That's how growing up happens. If we solve a problem, we grow; if we don't solve it, we also grow. But if we constantly avoid the problem itself (for example, by assuring ourselves that it should be so), then we stand still. And then nothing changes.

With another man, most likely, the same story will repeat itself - your same fears, the same dissatisfaction on the part of your parents.
For example, about the age difference. This is just an installation (I got it from my parents or built it myself). There is no difference how many “passport” years someone has. It is important how a person feels, how much vitality he has, what interests he has, what kind of lifestyle he has. A man can always find younger / prettier / smarter / better / taller / lower, etc., etc. Especially! if a woman is afraid of it. “Afraid” is very close to “waiting” here, and what is expected often comes true.

I would like to wish you the courage to change something. I will be glad to help you in this matter. You have a desire, otherwise you would not write here on the forum.

Sincerely,
Olga Akimova

Skype tochka.opory24-akimova
mail [email protected]

The tradition of marrying a girl to a man who is much older than her dates back several centuries. It was then believed that a large age difference would indicate a long and strong marriage, and a woman, thanks to her older husband, would feel like behind a stone wall. But times are changing. Increasingly, you can meet a couple where not a man is older, but a woman. Last time I touched on the negative aspects of relationships in which the woman is older. But there are many good things that I did not mention ...

What are the positive features of the union in which the girl is older?

The presence of a young man, of course, will encourage a woman to take better care of herself, choose stylish clothes and shoes for herself, do anti-aging procedures, give up bad habits, and play sports. Any woman understands that a young man needs to match, otherwise he can easily be taken away. A man, in turn, will strive to look his best, because next to a beautiful girl he will need to look decent.

Paired with a more mature woman, it is easier for a man to realize himself in life, since his chosen one has more life experience, she is more serious and in many respects more perspicacious than him. The female sex begins to mature psychologically earlier than the male, because in order to continue the human race, nature endowed women with mental invulnerability and moral stability. Only next to a strong woman does a young man become truly courageous. A woman is able to give advice, warn her partner against mistakes and wrong steps due to her greater life experience. She will be able to warn the relationship from unnecessary scandals.

No matter how strange it may sound, a man is subconsciously tuned to a relationship with a more mature woman. Remember, from childhood, a man is brought up by women: mother, grandmothers, aunts, sisters; later they are nannies and kindergarten teachers and teachers at school. Therefore, it will be much easier for him to build relationships with an adult woman.

As a rule, only over the years does an understanding of their true destiny come to women. In their youth, many girls like to live in an atmosphere of idleness and entertainment, but with age they gravitate more and more towards family life. An older woman better monitors the cleanliness and aesthetic beauty of the home, she is more skilled in the culinary field and more responsible in the process of planning and raising children. Over the years, the girl becomes more feminine. She will be able to organize for the young man the much-needed comfort and coziness. Namely, because of the absence of the latter, young couples break up.

Star couples where the woman is older:

A couple where the girl is older expects the highest sexual compatibility. Sexologists have long noted that the peak of female sexuality occurs at about 27-30 years old, and male - at 21-23. His energy and ability to regenerate quickly match perfectly with her experience. Thus, both partners will be able to regularly receive maximum sexual satisfaction.

And at the end of this big topic, I would like to turn to couples where the partner is older:

1. Pay no attention to public opinion. When a man is younger than a woman - this is a common occurrence in our time. Do not think about how your friends and relatives will react. The main thing is that you love and are loved and it is good for you to be together.

2. Teach each other. The age difference is only to the benefit of both parties. You can give your young partner life experience, with you he will have more chances to achieve high results in his career. And he, in turn, will energize you and introduce you to new trends in the modern world that you cannot learn from a man of the older generation.

3. Don't be jealous of your young partner. Jealousy arises from self-doubt. When a man is younger than a woman, there is room for constant suspicion. However, he chose you, which means that he needs you and only you. But at the same time, do not give him complete freedom, go to various events together.

4. Feel the lightness of the relationship. If a man is younger, he is not inclined to reproach you, instruct and limit your actions. He has a simpler attitude towards life, so you will have more fun. In addition, you will feel more confident and perfect next to a young man.

5. Don't be afraid to build a serious relationship. According to statistics, 53% of marriages in which the husband and wife are the same age break up after 2-3 years. The average duration of marriages where the man is younger than the woman is 12-16 years. But many couples live together for 20 and 25 years.

6. Enjoy your sexual relationship. Youth and experience combined will bring you many pleasant moments.

Many unions in which the girl is older than the young man lead to marriage and long, happy family relationships. Cast aside all doubts and love your soul mate, even if she is much younger or older than you. Do not pay attention to other people's opinions, as this is your life, and you must live it the way you want it.

Very often, girls who are much younger have to make a choice. Remain "correct" in the eyes of the public or believe in yourself and your partner and try to build a real strong couple. After all, most often the character of a man does not depend on age. You can be responsible and reliable at eighteen and an absolute slob at forty-five. And when choosing a partner, you should focus not so much on the opinion of the public as on your own feelings. If a man, albeit much younger, shows himself to be a real gentleman, if he is ready to take responsibility for a couple and family in the future, then it makes sense to try to create a couple with him.

How to behave with a guy who is younger

Very often, girls, meeting with young people younger than themselves, begin to experience a feeling of jealousy. It seems to them that flocks of young enchantresses are hovering around their boyfriends, striving to win his love and attention. And suspicions, reproaches, constant trials begin, where he was and what he did. You shouldn't behave like this. This speaks of self-doubt and only irritates the partner. It must be remembered that if a young man chose you, knowing that you are older than him, then everything suits him. He likes you the way you are. And it makes no sense to look for treason where they most likely do not exist. On the contrary, you need to make sure that the guy is worried about the fact that he can be thrown. You can be sometimes mysterious, sometimes angry, sometimes capricious. Do not strangle with your love, but show obstinacy. In this case, the young man will constantly think about you, about the relationship, and he will not even have the thought of finding another girl for himself.

You should not go to the other extreme - to turn into a "mommy" of your young man. Take care of him, support him, constantly give advice. For an independent, self-confident man, such control is the main annoying factor. If for some time he puts up with him out of respect for you, then his patience will run out, and he will find himself another girl who will allow him to take care of himself, and not command and control.

Otherwise, building a relationship with a guy who is much younger is no different from interacting in pairs, which are considered standard. Mutual understanding, support and the ability to understand and forgive a loved one are also very important.